SoulSetFree

2010-07-25T20:43:00.002+08:00

A few things to thank God for.

1) My ISAT test. I needed to do well for this to apply for UQ Dentistry. My career depended on it and thank God for the results. I'm not guaranteed a place but I'm leaving it in God's hands just as I left the results of the test to him.

2) NDP. At first I thought that my Saturdays were being burnt. Thank God that two weeks later, Thursday is a half day, Friday and Saturday are off and the whole week after NDP is off for me.

3) Wallaby. I complained about the potential 6 weeks away from home without committing it to God but He delivered me despite my lack of faith and prayer. Now it may be much, much shorter than 6 weeks.

Really. Praise God

2010-07-12T11:32:00.002+08:00

There's a reason why I'm reverting back to this old blog of mine. A few in fact.

LJ sucked big time. Ads, no tagboard and all that. Well I also thought of starting a new blog on blogger but I realised that I completely forgot HTML and how to insert a tagboard or change the template for that matter. Hence old blog here I come.

Prior to this I contemplated removing all the old posts I had on this blog, reason being I don't blog like that anymore. Sure, the unsurpassed wit remains ("yeah right" you critics say) but things are different. Simply put, I cannot believe I used to write like a 17 year old; though I really was 17 years old (my last post was 6 days before my 18th birthday so I was technically 17 years old)

I won't say 2 years, or some say 1 year and 7 days, have changed me much but please, I wrote rubbish. True, I still write rubbish now but right now I start out with the intent to write rubbish instead of writing rubbish while trying to write normal stuff.

And right now, writing rubbish will not be very smart considering I have a test coming up in about 2 hours. So goodbye for now. I'll be back to write more rubbish.

2009-07-05T14:55:00.002+08:00

hi.

i know that i've been at blogger for a very long time. but time means nothing. just look at Kaka who said he would "never leave Milan", or Ronaldo who... uh well he said he always wanted to leave. and uh, uh... i can't think of any others right now, but who cares. the fact is, time means nothing.

i kept thinking about leaving blogger behind and migrating to livejournal, but i wanted to make sure it would be a permanant move, and not like Nicholas Anelka bouncing around from Arsenal to Real to Man "loser" City to Bolton and to Chelsea. well, if not permanent then long lasting. so 600+ posts into blogger, well actually more than that if i had not accidentally deleted all my posts when i was 250 up, i am moving.

now if people know me, i am shitty at naming, well, names. Just ask my sister. Every time i tried to play the Sims 2, i always use the random name generator, cause i can seriously take an hour naming a Sim. So this is obviously more important than the Sims, cause if you don't like your Sim, you can leave him/her in the swimming pool, take away the ladders and let them drown muahahaha. But a blog is different. A blog is like a mirror to your soul. Actually more like a doorway, cause the person looking at your blog isn't you, so it'll more like be a mirror for them rather than for you. Anyway, a blog is also a doorway or a path to your inner being. Not so inner too, otherwise people will know too much about you, which may be a bad thing, cause people may know if you have well, too much let's just say.

The fact is, i needed to name my new livejournal, and i needed to name it well. Sort of memorable, not like my last blog that was titled wahap. No idea how i got the name, don't ask me too. And that's yet another reason why i put off this shift for so long. To be honest i tried to shift my blog about a year ago, but cause i couldn't name it well, i didn't shift. But now i am ready.

Hence this last post on blogger will be long. Or well longer than usual. And more crappy too. But i'll leave this blog around cause livejournal has no tagboard, and it might be interesting too to see how long it'll take people to realise i shifted my blog. For all i know, people might come here 4 months later and tag: "Eh why your blog so dead" not knowing i shifted my blog.

So to avoid that, i must write BIG BIG

I SHIFTED MY BLOG

ok happy?

if you don't know where i shifted to, that's cause i never tell you guys yet.

so.

I SHIFTED MY BLOG TO:

http://doorwayofmymind.livejournal.com

by the way, if you have livejournal, add me, i dont wanna add you. really. If you put "www" in front of the address, it won't work cause livejournal is too stupid to make the www in front of their link. Either that or they wanna be special. Whatever it is, it's not special, it's retarded.

ok so BYE BLOGGER

2009-07-03T20:30:00.002+08:00

w00t i feel like blocks are over when they're not. some stupid things happened today

1) thought you could skip complex numbers? think again. 16 marks baby

2) Michael "Has-Been" Owen is having a medical with Man Utd, the bloody english champions and champions of the damn world. that's even more shocking than Faubert signing for Real Madrid.

3) Harry says: "good luck to Benzema for next seasons relegation battle". Davin says: "Real madrid needs to field a 1-1-8 formation to accomodate all their forwards". very nice

4) i can't believe i am watching S-League. I NEED MY PREMIERSHIP FOOTBALL!

5) Man Utd is imbaly screwed. getting jack by Real "We-Have-Cash-And-Can-Screw-You-In-The-Ass" Madrid for every transfer for Karim "I-Won't-Leave-Lyon" Benzema to Franck "Madrid-or-nothing" Ribery

6) Bryan "Writes-middle-names" Ong needs to stop writing stupid middle names for everyone

7) I am so dead for Blocks

2009-07-02T19:49:00.003+08:00

i wonder why they set such hard questions for blocks... is it cause they want to demoralise everyone? if it is we might decided to fly to Batam or something 1 day before A levels and catch H1N1.

anyway, getting real stressed. quite weird cause i'm getting stressed only now, when it's like the second last paper tomorrow. maybe cause it's math, which basically spells IMPENDING DOOM.

actually math spells more like, "Me always tio hoot", cause i almost always kena pwn in the paper. hence, i should go and study nao

2009-07-01T19:30:00.000+08:00

history. i love history. like how i love my block test to be history. no not to be a history paper...

to be history. hence i am looking forward to wednesday woohoo!

whatever it is, chem tomorrow, math on friday, chem on bloody wednesday. wish me luck people cause i will need it!

but come to think of it, block test is already history for me. i'm screwed for chem and math, so isn't it.... history? ><

2009-06-30T20:00:00.003+08:00

econs is a subject of realisation. the fact that i realised this 50 minutes into my econs paper proves this point. and i realised my commitment to blogging, cause i thought up this post in the middle of econs, literally placing down my pen to think about what to right. thank me.

anyway, i realised the proper way to use a disclaimer, or what i'd like to call "Covering your @$$". in my econs paper, i realised in the middle of the block test that there was a statement below. It stated "Permission to reproduce items where third-party owned material protected by copyright is included has been sought and cleared where possible. Every reasonable effort has been made to the publisher to trace copyright holders, but if any items requiring clearance have unwittingly been included, the publisher will be pleased to make amends at the earliest possible opportunity".

What it really means (bolded and italicised) is:

"Permission to reproduce items where third-party owned material protected by copyright is included has been sought and cleared where possible (there were too damn many copyright laws man). Every reasonable effort has been made to the publisher to trace copyright holders (we couldn't find the copyright holders and probably weren't able to in the first place. maybe even can't be bothered to), but if any items requiring clearance have unwittingly been included (this refers to everything), the publisher will be pleased to make amends at the earliest possible opportunity (damn i wish i won't get caught. then again it's just a block test....)"

i mean, can you actually imagine any school calling the BBC and asking "uh. hey BBC, i'm a teacher from Singapore. I need the publisher for (Extract A) so i can ask him, uh, her, uh it if i can copy, i mean use his, uh her, uh its article for the exam".

i can't.

and i also realised a few gems in the middle of my case study question.

1) the singapore government makes damn good policies. in fact it's so good that even i have to admit it's good
2) you also realise that many policies you propose which you think is right... it's wrong
3) you get skeptical about your eureka-lightbulb moments, cause after repeatedly getting it wrong, you realise that those "lightbulb" moments, might just be God telling you not to write what you think is so totally correct
4) you then realise that when you follow what you think is God telling you not to write what you think is so totally correct, it turns out to be a damn lightbulb moment
5) you realise that you are not made out to be a politician after all. cause you might propose supply side policies to solve cyclical unemployment and get fired/overthrown/deposed/assasinated within a week.

so if you didn't think econs was fun... well... it's still not fun, but sucks to be those who take it!

including me

2009-06-29T20:16:00.004+08:00

- Team Played GF GA GD Pts
1 GP
2 Math
3 SEA
4 IH
5 Chem
6 Econs
7 Bryan

i decided to come up with a table (see above) to see how badly i get pwned in this block test. will give constant updates. as seen above, we have goals for, goals against, goal diff and points. and yeah, we'll see how i... fare. *edit* ok never mind i scrapped the table cause blogger doesnt allow more than two spaces. what's wrong with your programming man? you guys are an international company! i'm leaving!! off to livejournal!!! *end of edit*

GP today.

i guess GP wasn't thaaaaat bad. i mean, i'm not bad at it. but some negatives that i can take away from GP.

except for the fact that i chose the wrong question. i don't know what went through my mind, but some little voice in my head told me to spot questions, and i spotted, of all questions, science and technology. all that just cause i just read Brave New World from Aldous Huxley and decided i could place some of his ideas into my compo. and so i chose the question "Are we placing too much faith on technology?"

1) Never; and i mean never ever, choose a short question like that. (1 nil to GP)
2) And i didn't get to use any of the Brave New World points (2 nil to GP)
3) I realised that the emphasis was on "too much faith". Except i realised it a little too late. (3 nil to GP)
4) I had no flipside so i crapped out something that will probably scream out SMOKE!!! (4 nil to GP)
5) Basically, out of the 5 points i wrote, 2 were utter crap, 1 was rather crap, and the last two barely made sense (5 nil to GP)
6) But i did manage a consolation goal cause i think the compre was rather easy. Or wait, was it? Actually i'm not that sure, cause everytime i say something is easy, i screw it up worse that Michael Jackson screwed his nose. So to be on the safe side... (6 nil to GP)

that's not that bad. 6-0 on the opening day. It's like how Newcastle lost to Manchester United (HAHA THE YELLOW DECK CHAIR JERSEY)

hey... somehow during blocks, i get some real brain juice burst and can write so well. sadly, it's on the blog and not on my bloody examination script.

ok whatever i am so off to studying my econs and history. woohoo two content heavy subjects in two days. just my cup of tea. totally what i'm paying 300 bucks a month and more than 600 bucks for A levels to do. i am so enjoying my life studying. actually, there is no life, cause i'm studying my life away lalalalalalalalaaaaaaaa.

ok enough crap happy studying people. i'm off to cramming as much history essays and econs facts into my brain as i can humanly manage. wish me luck. i know it won't help me, but still, wish me luck

2009-06-28T21:58:00.001+08:00

quick updates on my life that i cant do cause i dont know how to use twitter

1) i have block tests coming up. GP tomorrow, need prayer
2) thinking of shifting my blog real soon. seriously thinking of that
3) lalalala worshiping at a new level and loving it
4) hillsong concert bookmarked and i am going!
5) major load to study so i'm off now

okiebyebye

2009-06-26T20:09:00.002+08:00

well i could not believe it myself. couldn't believe it when Rachel told me this morning, but it is true.

yep, the king of pop has popped

come to think of it, take away all the pedo gay stuff and his plastic and the fact that he was a complete and utter lunatic, he was a genius.

and i liked him better when he was black

2009-06-25T20:00:00.001+08:00

666th post and aptly so, cause i was at the dentist today.

when i was younger, i used to think dentists were evil. i still think so after today

2009-06-24T20:48:00.001+08:00

knnbccb

i are screwed.

5 days to start of blocks. and i have to clear:

1) all chem topics other than organic

2) all history topics

3) 2 last econs topics and do some practice essays

4) continue practicing math (this one cannot stop even after blocks)

other than (3) and (4), the rest look impossible

2009-06-23T20:47:00.000+08:00

today.

was.

quite.

interesting.

man.

2009-06-22T09:53:00.003+08:00

stupid H1N1. now at www.channelnewsasia.com/singapore, there's this poll set up to see how schools should cope with the H1N1 outbreak, and majority of the students voted for "Extend school holidays". i have to admit i was one of the 4% who voted to return to school at the normal date. but well, i have vested interests. the most important thing would be that if hols are extended, blocks will definitely clash with my birthday.

WHICH IS ON THE 11TH OF JULY PLS TAKE NOTE THANK YOU!

yeah. and it's not fun when you've already booked the bbq pit, invited friends and all that. even less fun when you have to mug during your birthday for some stupid test/exam.

anyway, as i said yesterday, i am down with flu. thankfully not H1N1, but i am down with flu. i was at the doctor yesterday, gave my name to the person at the counter. wrote it down quite clearly as "Ong Yang En Bryan". but it's damn funny, about 5 minutes later the person called me and asked "boy ah! is this your father ah?" i looked at the paper. Surname was Chia.

PLEASE LAH! even primary school kid can connect the dots and know that person is not my father! i bloody gave her my surname as "Ong" and she asked me if my father's surname was "Chia".

seriously. she epic phail

2009-06-21T19:23:00.000+08:00

I AM SICK!

NO!

must get well before blocks. and i still need to study....

2009-06-18T21:29:00.004+08:00

i was listening to this song after realising what a cool song it was after playing Guitar Hero at Liu Zhen's house during an awesome partayy in his house with the people.

then it hit me like a sledgehammer or well, a car, or maybe a motar. it was like some angelic revelation or God speaking to me through a damn rock song or something. somehow i always, and i mean always get it through songs.

this was like calling out to me and telling me about myself cause damn, i am kinda like that and i need to lighten up a bit man.

anyway,

The Middle - Jimmy Eat World

Hey,
Don't write yourself off yet.
It's only in your head you feel left out,
Or looked down on.
Just try your best,
Try everything you can.
And don't you worry what they tell themselves
When you're away.

[Chorus]
It just takes some time,
little girl, you're in the middle of the ride.
Everything, everything will be just fine,
Everything, everything will be alright. (alright)

Hey,
You know they're all the same.
You know you're doing better on your own, (on your own)
So don't buy in.
Live right now.
Yeah, just be yourself.
It doesn't matter if it's good enough (good enough)
For someone else.

[Chorus x2]

Hey, don't write yourself off yet.
It's only in your head you feel left out, (feel left out)
Or looked down on.
Just do your best, (just do your best)
Do everything you can. (do everything you can)
And don't you worry what their bitter hearts (bitter hearts)
Are gonna say.

[Chorus x2]

2009-06-17T20:21:00.001+08:00

i think if i close my blog down nobody will care

2009-06-16T21:41:00.001+08:00

i had no idea Kris Allen was so damn good.

2009-06-16T20:24:00.000+08:00

omg haven't listened to Bon Jovi in a loooong time but he's genius

2009-06-14T21:55:00.000+08:00

kao must do work, must study for blocks, must study for a levels.

like that how? no life already

2009-06-11T20:48:00.002+08:00

Jaap Stam

van Nistelrooy

Mikael Silvestre

David Beckham

Fabien Barthez

Veron

just some of the people who flopped AFTER leaving Man Utd.

next on the list is: Cristiano Ronaldo

2009-06-11T19:51:00.000+08:00

£80m Ronaldo bid accepted

i cannot be happier

2009-06-09T22:07:00.001+08:00

must fight the temptation to join the bloody twitter community

wouldnt be a surprise if i have a twitter bar tomorrow -.-

2009-06-09T21:41:00.000+08:00

silent screams. filled my head. couldn't stop.

2009-06-09T20:51:00.001+08:00

lost, unsure.

in need of direction, and fast

2009-06-07T21:40:00.002+08:00

well i can't believe i am going to write what i am about to write. people who know me would be cynical about what i have to say, but what the heck man. believe it or not, i love Singapore.

yeah. I. Love. Singapore.

but my main point.

i was reading an article in my GP bulletin, uncreatively named Issues and Ideas, which basically gives us Issues and well, ideas to discuss. i'm in hwa chong man. we don't give fancy names to unfancy shit. it's like we won't call Organic Chemistry, uh, uh. never mind i wouldn't know what to call it. cause i'm from Hwa Chong.

but i digress as i usually do, and probably will in this whole post thingum.

as i said, i was reading my GP bulletin. there was an article about something Dr Vivan Balakrishnan said in parliament awhile back. he was asked by his then 11-year-old son this question that probably every damn Singaporean male would ask.

Why should i die for Singapore?

i could probably imagine Dr Balakrishnan's reaction. "Son, how in bleeding hell do i know?!" ok i'm joking, i really am. PLEASE DON'T SEND ME TO WHITLEY! frankly, i'm not really here to tell you why we should die for Singapore. uh. not yet at least. see what struck me was the reaction from the various MPs. one certain MP (don't know who, cause i can't be bothered to take the bulletin out) said something along the line that "if children have to ask that question, then the education system has failed".

is it just me or did he just admit that the Singaporean education system is propaganda?

i was worried really. look is the education system supposed to teach us to shed blood for our country? i used to think our education system was to rot our brains but wait, to shed blood? that's new. i didn't get that in primary school. all i got in primary school was "you better bloody study or you'll go to our secondary school which is shit!". no joking. my primary school teachers said the affiliated secondary school is shit. i won't say anything about it. i haven't even been there.

again i digressed.

well i can name a few countries who taught their kids to die. Nazi Germany did. they had their kids learn street fighting, indoctrinated them through some propaganda groups and all that. Maoist China did. i don't know how, cause i can't really recall. but i think they did. in these countries the children learnt to die for their country.

but wait. the cause is different. we are taught to die for our country to defend it. Nazi Germany taught them to die so Hitler could have his damn thousand year reich which lasted just over 10 years.

hmm but i'll like to suggest why our education system has failed.

i don't know why i should i for my country.

i really don't. i mean, i have head knowledge of why i should. let's see.

1) Singapore is our home, we should defend it.

2) ????

yeah that's all i know. and that's all that NE got into my head.

but let me tell you something. if i'm overseas now, and i know Singapore is in trouble, i assure you this. I will be the first to pack my bags, come back to Singapore and take arms to defend Singapore. honestly i will do that.

there is a difference between knowing in your head why you should die for your country, and knowing in your heart why you should. and it's because of what i know in my heart, that i will die for Singapore readily.

this is what i will die for.

my family. my friends (ok not all, but most of them at least). certain friends.

and i think that's enough. honestly that is enough. Singapore has not let the children know why they should die for their country. i wasn't informed. but as i grew up, i slowly formed in my heart various things i would die for. frankly i will not die for Singapore. hear this, I WILL NOT DIE FOR SINGAPORE. but i'll die for those i care for, and for that i know with all my heart i will take arms to defend, and die if necessary for the ones i love.

so i suggest this be the done. let the kids find out, like i have, why they should die for Singapore. don't force feed them info as to why they should die for Singapore, because they may forget all these head knowledge, but they will never ever forget these things they have kept in their heart.

2009-06-01T21:15:00.002+08:00

w00t i went to Singapore Open today. unfortunately didn't see Sean Rash so i had to settle for Remy Ong, who wasn't bowling properly cause he already qualified -.- yup saw Rachel Wong bowl and she isn't bad. in fact she's good haha.

anyway people i am going off to Bali tomorrow and will be back on Saturday so enjoy yourselves in Singapore while i have fun in Bali (:

2009-05-30T19:30:00.000+08:00

somehow it all hit me how i've been wrong for so long. must correct certain things

2009-05-28T04:41:00.001+08:00

on a sidenote, it's funny how wiki gets updated almost by the second. just seconds after Barca won, i went to Barca's page on wiki and they said they beat man utd 2-0 at Rome. how quick is that?

2009-05-28T04:38:00.002+08:00

hmm. exceptional performance by Barca, but they didn't win cause they played well. definitely. Man Utd played like shit and that's the only reason Man Utd lost. well i'm saddened but it's okay. we lost to Barca and not some other team, so it's okay. but some really irritating things included 2 petulant divers (Carles Puyol and Ronaldo), both of whom were acting like real sissies out there, especially Puyol.

oh well, Treble start for Pep Guardiola, and a night of heartbreak for Man Utd fans all over the world. congrats to Barca, but my heart is bleeding right now, not cause of the loss, but cause of the performance.

2009-05-28T04:18:00.002+08:00

1) Man Utd is playing like the champions of the Coca-Cola league 1

2) Man Utd is passing the ball worse than Gombak Utd (no offense to Gombak)

3) Man Utd's finishing is on par with my school's soccer team (again no offense to HCI Soccer)

4) Man Utd's defence looks nowhere like the defence than conceded so few goals in the League

that usually means that Barcelona, now 2 nil up, thoroughly deserves to win. the match isn't over, but even if Utd pulls up an Istanbul, congrats to Barca

2009-05-28T04:04:00.002+08:00

i'd like to say something here. no matter who wins the match (and that appears to be Barca for the moment) football is about enjoyment. i don't like it when people taunt people over results. same thing when i hate it when Man Utd fans taunt others just cause our team won 3 PL titles in a row. we don't support our teams just to taunt others about our wins and their losses. football is a beautiful game, and we support our teams because we enjoy their football, we want them to win, but when they win, we don't laugh at our opponents.

people say Man Utd fans are arrogant perhaps cause of a few who actually are. frankly we have no right to be arrogant. proud of our team, yes, but not arrogant. Man Utd is a good team, perhaps the best in the world, but that is not for me to say. results speak for themselves, but in the end, win or lose, i guess we should just enjoy the game, perhaps feel happy for the win or saddened because of the loss, but we should never look at it as a chance to laugh at our opponents, whichever team we support

2009-05-26T20:10:00.003+08:00

my word. schools about to end in 2 days, nope not 3! got my army medical on friday so to all people who are going to school on friday, have fun while i prepare to serve my country!!!

2009-05-25T20:31:00.000+08:00

amazingly my readership jumped by a thousand in about slightly more than a month. why the sudden surge? eh tag me also leh. my blog is getting dead

2009-05-20T22:05:00.002+08:00

hmm strange observation today.

you know how girls always want guys to give up seats to them and all that? true, and not true.

was on the bus today. it was after Sports Day (which was a bloody waste of my time), and yeah i was sitting down. saw this random nanyang girl who was sitting on the floor cause there were no available seats. don't ask me why, somehow the floor to her wasn't dirty. so me, being a kind soul as always, decided to give up my seat to her. so yeah she was quite near me so i just asked her if she wanted to sit. i'm a nice guy right? haha.

girls say they like guys to give up seats to them. yeah right.

she gave me some look and said no. very unpleasant.

uh ok fine i'm a stranger but hey, i'm from hwa chong, so i'm like a brother school thing right? uh right? so fine even if i'm not from hwachong, i didn't ask her to sit next to me, i just tried to be nice and give up my seat to her. why the look?

didn't ask her cause i don't know her. just let her sit on the floor since she finds it so comfortable.

and this is where i go, "I have no idea what girls are thinking".

DISCLAIMER: oh boy oh boy. of course i'm not gonna overgeneralise. i'm just giving an example of something that happened today

2009-05-17T22:26:00.002+08:00

i was watching the Liverpool Westbrom game. i've got to say that i respect West Brom. especially their fans. and with that said, Newcastle fans as well. i mean it's hard to find fans that stick to their team no matter what but i've seen that in West Brom fans, cheering their team on, out in full force even when relegation was confirmed. well i respect them and hope to see them in the BPL 2 years later

2009-05-17T22:08:00.001+08:00

this blogger has finally caught up with civilisation and has watched Slumdog Millionaire

hmm i admit i was skeptical before watching it, but it was totally beyond my expectation. it was good. it was really, really good. deserves it's Oscar thoroughly

2009-05-16T21:45:00.001+08:00

Man utd are champs!!!!!

Man Utd 0 - 0 Arsenal

treble of premier leagues

2009-05-16T21:32:00.000+08:00

very dangerous play from Man Utd. too defensive, parking the bus. could concede late in the game and could make them pay

2009-05-16T21:16:00.001+08:00

i cannot believe Tevez has been subbed. the crowed booed the decision. i disagree. Tevez is unhappy but always a sportsman. Ronaldo has been playing worst than Tevez. Ronaldo should be off.

hmm. on the other side, Arshavin off for Walcott and Nasri off for Bendtner... disagree with both subs. Arshavin and Nasri have played very well for Arsenal. perhaps only Walcott deserves to be on. not sure about Bendtner. on to spurn more chances? cant say so soon in case he scores against us.

2009-05-16T21:02:00.001+08:00

hmm very tight game. currently 0-0

neither deserves to lead, and both deserve to score. i have quite a bad feeling about this. man utd defending a 0-0 score line. could concede last minute and have to play at hull

2009-05-15T18:55:00.000+08:00

gosh chem spa tomorrow not fun not fun not fun. need to studyyyy!!

on a side note, by 9.45pm tomorrow, we could be champions of england again!!!

hahahahaha

2009-05-14T19:47:00.002+08:00

few things racing through my mind recently: studies, discipline, friends, you.

i kinda wanted to add Man Utd above but it's not really a struggle for me so i don't care.

studies and discipline. those two kinda go hand in hand don't they? to study you need discipline. simple equation, but one i keep getting wrong. i know i'm supposed to be spamming my TYS now, completing tutorials and knowing every single topic like the back of my hand. but the fact is i don't. i just feel so unprepared for everything. SPA is on Saturday and i haven't studied for it. SEA history test tomorrow and i haven't started. perhaps you might even think that blogging is taking up my time. but please, look at my previous posts. those one liners are hardly even taking up 2.33 minutes. this will take more than that, but then again it doesn't happen very often recently does it.

i just kinda find it hard to sit down in front of my work and mug. it's not really that i have a lot of distractions. fine i play my guitar a lot everyday to help me relax but frankly it's one song at a time, maybe once every 45 minutes. by the way the doctors recommend that we take rests after 45 minutes of work so we don't screw up our eyesight, so hey i'm not at fault here. blame the damn doctors. haha.

i think i'm having a problem just sitting down and doing work. i'm restless, probably have a short attention span too, cause the maximum number of hours i can clock sitting down in front of my work and actually really really REALLY mug is probably half an hour at one go. then i need a break. somehow i can find stamina during the actual test paper, so that must prove that i can actually sit down and mug for say 2, 3 hours at one go. but the fact is i can't, for one reason or another.

i am not ready. that really, really worries me.

i don't know, and on top of that, i worry about my friends around me. i'll confess that how my friends feel affect me a lot. just take an example for bowling. Ruiyi bowls badly, i'll bowl badly cause he doesn't feel good. same thing when i bowl badly, he bowls badly. somehow i just can't survive when i have friends around me not feeling good. i know it's not their fault. but i just get kinda emo about it too. hey i'm a guy full of emotions so that's the way it is.

but what's worse is not so much them making me feel bad, but more of that i don't know what to say to them. it's like say someone is emoing in one corner and you don't know what to say. and that sucks. it's like you just feel powerless you know what i mean? well the fact that i'm not exactly good with words does exacerbate the situation.

ah well.

then perhaps more importantly, yes even more important than the bloody A levels at the end of the year, is you.

hey. i've been wanting to talk to you for awhile. actually quite awhile haha. shocks me how many times i think about you a day you know? kinda stupid but i've written about 4 or 5 drafts of smses to you but i haven't sent it out. but hey you know me. i've got no excuses for that. whatever it is i'll talk to you soon i hope

5 months and everything will be over.

2009-05-14T19:37:00.003+08:00

few can score a goal like Tevez did this morning. what i've seen in my life, only Ronaldo, Giggs, Rooney and perhaps van Nistelrooy can score that kind of goal

what in the world is Ferguson doing?

SIGN HIM NOW!

on top of that i am getting increasingly irritated with Ronaldo. he trips over his own too-quick feet and claims a penalty. doesn't get it and he buries his head in the ground and stays there for 20 seconds sulking. that means that our team is down to 10 men for 20 seconds.

they say Real have an agreement to sign him. i certainly hope it's true

2009-05-13T22:12:00.001+08:00

By Your Side - Tenth Avenue North

Why are you striving these days
Why are you trying to earn grace
Why are you crying
Let me lift up your face
Just don't turn away

Why are you looking for love
Why are you still searching as if I'm not enough
To where will you go child
Tell me where will you run
To where will you run

And I'll be by your side
Wherever you fall
In the dead of night
Whenever you call
And please don't fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you

Look at these hands and my side
They swallowed the grave on that night
When I drank the world's sin
So I could carry you in
And give you life
I want to give you life

And I'll be by your side
Wherever you fall
In the dead of night
Whenever you call
And please don't fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you

Cause I, I love you
I want you to know
That I, I love you
I'll never let you go

And I'll be by your side
Wherever you fall
In the dead of night
Whenever you call
And please don't fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you

2009-05-12T19:38:00.000+08:00

gah gah gah gah gah gah gah

i really really really really don't like J2 life!!!

gah gah gah gah gah gah gah

2009-05-10T22:24:00.002+08:00

i just can't help but say this. looking at Ronaldo's reaction to being subbed, i want him to leave. he wants to leave so let him leave. get some 70 mil for him if we can.

the difference between Ronaldo and Fletcher, lets say. i respect Fletch more than Ronaldo. Ronaldo is a crybaby. he's pissed when he's subbed, he falls too easily and complains everytime he's tackled. and look at Fletch, when he was red carded for the Arsenal game, yeah it was harsh, but he took it like a man, a real professional.

Ronaldo may be a bigger name then Fletcher, but it's Fletcher who truly deserves to pull on the United shirt

2009-05-10T22:02:00.000+08:00

watching the match now. kinda pissed with Ronaldo. he got pissed for being subbed off.

you know what i think? he's trying to find an excuse to leave for Real. go ahead and leave Ronaldo. Man Utd doesn't need you

2009-05-10T20:53:00.001+08:00

so according to Jarron Tham, we can have a new name after baptism. i wasn't informed of it, but if i was... hmm i don't think i would have gotten one. if i did get a middle name though...

how does Bryan son-of-an Ong sound like?

hahahaha

2009-05-09T20:52:00.002+08:00

hahaha had my first gig at Home club today @ Clark Quay! super fun i'm damn happy now. think my band did quite well considering we only had 1 practice. which was today at 3pm! haha. real happy now even though my Cajon wasn't really miked up properly. grr stupid pa guy. but hey i got some experience there. real cool place to play too. real relaxed atmosphere so that was quite good. don't know if there will be photos. depends on when Rachel uploads them on facebook.

i'm just high now. hehehehe. hope we can play together next time at more gigs! (:

2009-05-07T19:29:00.002+08:00

a week full of football mistakes. i thought the sending off of Fletcher was bad. today was worse.

Abidal sent off when Anelka obviously dived. should have been yellow for Anelka but Abidal took the fall. then undoubtedly a penalty for Chelsea in the dying moments which would have sent Chelsea to Rome, but ref made another mistake. this time it wasn't one that cost a player a spot in the finals. it was a mistake that cost a whole team a chance to appear in the finals.

i thought Ballack and Terry over reacted, but looking at the replays, another bad decision by another ref.

2009-05-06T04:32:00.002+08:00

3-1 to Man Utd, 4-1 agg win.

brilliant counter attacking by Man Utd. superb free kick. could and should have been more.

but so what if Man Utd goes into the final? that was settled 12 minutes into the game. now we're missing Fletch for the final cause of a retarded italian. no chance for an appeal says the fourth official. what kind of regulations do UEFA have? a good night marred by myriads of bad decisions. i think even our S-League refs could have made better calls than him, with all due respect of course.

i'm happy with the win of course, but it should have been 4-0, not 4-1. should not have been a red for a brilliant tackle by an outstanding player. i'm just hoping Roberto Rossetti does not officiate another Man Utd game, especially the CL finals this year.

2009-05-06T04:27:00.001+08:00

this is quite funny. commentators just said "Remember the name Roberto Rossetti, and pray he never officiates a game involving your team"

how true

2009-05-06T04:25:00.001+08:00

the damn ref knows soccer rules as well as a housefly. for all we know, he may give van der Sar a red for using his hands in football

2009-05-06T04:24:00.002+08:00

forget it. Rossetti's made so damn many mistakes today he should be banned from football for life.

screw him. no fletcher for finals

2009-05-06T04:22:00.000+08:00

what shit is Roberto Rossetti doing? if fletcher's challenge was a red, every single challenge on the field today should be a red. that was the cleanest tackle i've seen in my life.

stupid italian.

2009-05-05T20:09:00.002+08:00

i realised that the major viruses, pandemics and all that come in the year that i have my major exams.

SARS: 2003 - PSLE

Bird Flu: don't know how long - Promos

Swine Flu: 2009 - A Levels.

knn my batch so unlucky meh? on top of that, we are the first batch to have our driver's liscence year changed to 21. suay or what?

doesn't matter. SARS i got good grades for my PSLE. so now Swine Flu, i will do well for A levels!

2009-04-28T16:49:00.000+08:00

i'm down with flu now. fortunately not swine flu. lots of people falling ill recently so i guess it was a sooner or later thing for me. at least i get some rest at home... but that'll probably mean my studies would suffer a bit cause i'd miss lessons but still, at least i get some rest. i need it.

2009-04-26T19:04:00.002+08:00

i was thinking about my life just now. i really don't know what to say about it but it sucks when you feel so wrecked inside and have no one to talk to. i'm to blame really, for my personality. too shy, not talking to people. perhaps i even appear arrogant cause of that. i don't know. but i know that because of this, i'm almost peerless. it's as if i have aquaintences but not friends. frankly i don't know why i'm doing this right now, but i guess it's cause i have no where else to turn to. sad life huh? can't keep bottling stuff inside me cause it tears me apart but then again i can't talk to anyone because there is no one.

i was wondering if anyone of you has ever hated youself?

i never thought i would.

but i do now.

2009-04-26T17:36:00.001+08:00

KNS they ban drums for the performance cause it's too noisy? NOISY?

i'm fuming. my first chance for a gig wrecked

2009-04-25T14:36:00.001+08:00

trust me. never, and i mean never, ever read a leaflet about sexually transmitted diseases when you're having a meal.

especially when the leaflet has pictures on it.

2009-04-20T18:36:00.001+08:00

too many things swarming my mind now. i genuinely need prayer, cause if there is any time i need prayer, this is the time and i need it now more than ever.

just pray for me.

2009-04-18T08:43:00.003+08:00

i was angry with myself yesterday during bowling. not because i bowled badly but because i bowled damn well. 5 frames up and i was past 100.

i guess i'm just angry that i'm bowling so well now and i just squandered my chance to be in the team cause i bowled badly during selections. guess it's those kinds of situations where you're angry with yourself cause it's too late to change anything.

and it's hard not to stay bitter when you feel some people don't deserve to be in the team while you do.

but that's life

2009-04-16T19:57:00.001+08:00

hehe i'm absolutely sky high after yesterday's result. hahaha

anyway, just totally spent my whole day out at the library doing research for my $150 H3. so now i'm at home and i guess this is where i say to myself

GO STUDY LA!

2009-04-15T21:33:00.003+08:00

roughly 7 months more to the A levels and now i'm probably not even prepared for an O level paper. nonetheless, shall not rant about school. i'm too tired to anyway.

anyways, i passed my NAPFA. not just pass but i got a silver. hence i don't need to go for PTP!!! hopefully i get posted in the April batch so i can take my drivers liscence and get a job so i can earn money to finally buy my drumset! just like so excited when i did my 6 pullups can? hahaha.

interesting how my JC life has just gone by so fast. just seemed like yesterday when i was a puny (ok maybe not so puny considering my size) J1 stepping into the college section and enjoying the sights (of the school building lah!) and sounds of JC life. now i'm J2, nearly 18 and legal to drink drive and have fun, and nearly reaching the biggest exam i will ever take so far. amazingly i can say that i'm actually enjoying myself in school. don't know why but that's just the way it is, so that's good i guess.

ah well. surprisingly happy now when every J2 is supposed to be in a "rahh" mood cause of studies. well i'm not in that mood yet and probably will have to be sooner rather than later, but i guess i can afford to take this night out to enjoy whatever strand of freedom i have left. hahaha.

anyway. to you who i occasionally write to.

Your Guardian Angel - The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

When I see your smile
Tears roll down my face I can't replace
And now that I'm strong I have figured out
How this world turns cold and it breaks through my soul
And I know I'll find deep inside me I can be the one

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

It's ok

Seasons are changing
And waves are crashing
And stars are falling all for us
Days grow longer and nights grow shorter
I can show you I'll be the one

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

Cuz you're my, you're my, my true love, my whole heart
Please don't throw that away
Cause I'm here for you
Please don't walk away and,
Please tell me you'll stay

Use me as you will
Pull my strings just for a thrill
And I know I'll be ok
Though my skies are turning gray

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

2009-04-14T19:31:00.002+08:00

i just got an S for econs. i am terribly disappointed and upset, but not with my scores.

i'm upset with the pragmatic nature of everything. screw it if this gets me into trouble, but i have to say it.

i was shocked during the econs lecture when the lecturer told the people in the LT that those who received a C or D would be placed in a class where they would have a supposedly better teacher so as to help them push for an A in the A levels. yet he did not mention anything much about those who got Es, Ss or Us. basically what the ESU people are supposed to do is to see their own econs tutors for consultation, which is basically what everyone weak in any subject should do.

so i was asking myself why the unit has chosen to focus on those people who "have the potential to score As"? look, does that mean that us ESU people have no potential to score As? maybe it was not the intention of the unit, but that was certainly what i felt they were getting at from that announcement.

what i got from the very short announcement was this:

1) BCD people will get better teachers to push for As

2) A people will maintain their form

3) ESU people will just see their own teachers for consult

4) ESU people have much smaller potential of getting As for A levels and thus will not be the main priority of the econs unit.

now correct me if i'm wrong, but i had a very very strong feeling that the above was perhaps, and most likely unknowingly implied by the unit. yeah we're weaker in econs. so shouldn't that mean we need special attention? shouldn't we be in the class that can help us get our As, if not at least Bs?

fair enough, we are to blame for our bad results. no doubt perhaps some people didn't study hard enough, misinterpreted the question or whatever. so that means we need help.

frankly i'm not one to flame anybody, and i don't think i'm doing so right now. if i am, i apologise, but i have to say what i just said. and i will, and am considering writing in to whoever the above may concern.

2009-04-12T20:10:00.000+08:00

have i ever said he's my new hero? well yeah he is.

2009-04-11T20:28:00.002+08:00

gg horrification liverfool leading 2 nil. samba playing striker cause blackburn has no damn strikers

this is a bad day. unless man utd wins of course (:

2009-04-08T21:20:00.002+08:00

didn't get into school team.

disappointed? yes. but i guess others deserved it. perhaps some more than others. and some not at all.

2009-04-06T20:41:00.004+08:00

my new hero! damn nice goal. and he's younger than me some more...

2009-04-05T21:35:00.003+08:00

hmm. somehow i look forward to this week. either it's cause we only have 3 full days of lessons or we only have 3 full days of lessons.

take your pick.

i know people will be screaming about the utter unfairness (there is no such word by the way) of me getting 3 full days of lessons, but wait till bowling finals. i get 1 whole week off. then you can scream.

but i'm don't really think 1 week off is good. for one, i miss lessons. that means more catching up to to do, more praying that i can actually catch up and for that matter, less slacking time. so it basically sucks to skip lessons (i can't believe i'm actually saying this), but if it's for representing the school, i have no qualms about it. assuming i do represent the school.

but speaking of unfair holidays, take a look at RJ. the quintissential "holiday school". if my reliable source in the land of the white uniforms was correct, they had a holiday one day before and after the World Cup finals.

now take a moment to digest that.

now you can start screaming about utter unfairness, which in this case, the word exists.

for goodness sake for the World Cup finals!?!?! they have got to get their priorities right man... hmm, which in this case is the world cup finals.... i shall not carry on anymore. i just want more holidays especially for world cup finals.

won't get that next year though. next year, during the world cup finals i'll be in some ulu camp in a place that doesn't resemble Earth doing serving my beloved nation.

i am so looking forward to it

2009-04-03T21:42:00.003+08:00

oh well, there goes another week. i realise that it is about 7 months to A levels and i am nowhere near ready. that just means i have to work extra hard for these 7 months. no problem at all.

yeah right.

but well, gonna have to do it whether i like it or not so i guess i had better just be happy doing it rather than screwing myself up going "my life sucks boohoo" cause no matter what i'm gonna have to go through these 7 months. so yes, i'm going to tell myself that this would be the best 7 months of my life and even though i know i'll be lying to myself it's ok cause i'll just hope it'll work.

2009-04-01T19:52:00.002+08:00

hmm i'm kinda mentally prepared not to make the team already, and somehow i don't think it'll really affect me that much anymore. so i guess i'm just gonna go and enjoy my game on friday and not care about how well/badly i bowl.

oh well. been awhile since i made a post i was terribly pleased with. crap juice has been totally drained and now my blog has somehow been reduced to a constant (sometimes not so constant) update of my life.

not that those who blog about their life like "today i went to macs to have bfast. then i went to school. math was damn sian. then had chem, also very sian. then i go home, never study, never bathe, never wash hair, never brush teeth and go to sleep" are boring people but hey, to each his own. or well, as we learnt from GP today, to each personkind the person's own, cause apparently "his" is not politically correct cause it's gender bias.

speaking of which does it mean that we can't use "her"? i mean feminists keep trying to use "her" instead of "his" right? so "Man" (a la the general term) should in fact be "woMan"? wouldn't that also be gender biased? then we would have like the opposite of feminists. like malists, which sounds totally like an acid man. i mean seriously, we're trying to eradicate gender bias? so there will be no "man" but there can be "woman". so it'll be like 1984. women will be called, well, women and men will be called "opposite of woman"? that's seriously quite lame man, don't those people have better things to do? if we have these terms i will totally die while writing essays.

speaking of essays, i think about the impending doom which is somehow coincidentally called "GP results". my school has somehow managed to do exceptionally crappy for this GP paper. basically there were classes where every single person failed. yes, EVERY SINGLE PERSON. i'm not talking about getting an S, cause and S is really a pass. technically it's a "subpass" which means you failed, but we don't want to hurt the fragile egos of everybody in Singapore right? saying a person "failed" is apparently too harsh so we must protect the kids in Singapore from all hardship in the form of abominations such as "exams", "grades" and "bad canteen food" (damn i really want Subway in my school!!!)

yeah anyway apparently a lot of people died. for GP i mean. basically i hope i'm not one of them, but considering how Mr Wiki supposedly screwed up his GP paper (according to my teacher), i am, along with the whole class, essentially screwed. not that it really matters to me of course. there are better things to worry about than GP grades, like... hmmm... crap actually GP grades are rather important. sure yeah, it's my best paper (or at least i like to think so), but not now!

so yeah, i realised that the post which was supposed to be an update of my life has been rather, hmm, unupdatish. this, in my dictionary is exceptional. aka, a somehow unintentionally coherent piece of work as seen above. this para is not included cause this is practically the worse conclusion i've written in my life, other than that time i had no time to write my conclusion in my history paper.

if you're wondering, the conclusion was only two words.

"in conclusion...", then the teacher said times up.

and i wonder why i keep digressing

okiebye

2009-03-31T19:54:00.000+08:00

With Everything - Hillsong

Open our eyes
To see the things that make Your heart cry
To be the church that You would desire
Your light to be seen

VERSE 2:

Break down our pride
And all the walls we’ve built up inside
Our earthly crowns and all our desires
We lay at Your feet

PRE CHORUS:

Let hope rise
And darkness tremble
In Your holy light
That every eye will see
Jesus our God
Great and mighty to be praised

VERSE 3:

God of all days
Glorious in all of Your ways
Oh the majesty the wonder and grace
In the light of Your Name

CHORUS:

With everything
With everything
We will shout for Your glory
With everything
With everything
We will shout forth Your praise

CHORUS 2:

Our hearts they cry
Be glorified
Be lifted high above all names
For You our King
With everything
We will shout forth Your praise

2009-03-31T19:36:00.002+08:00

results, results, results.

i don't like the pressure of being in Hwa Chong. there's this constant pressure to do well and to excel. teachers tell you to mug more and get good grades, your peers are doing better than you and because of this, you are brainwashed into wanting to do well as well.

i'm a small fish in a big pond, no big ocean here in my school. there are hundreds above me.

i got my chem back today. 48%. not good at all. what really got me pissed off was that if i took into account all my careless mistakes, i would have gotten a C. if i had not rushed through the first part, i would have gotten a B. if i was given more time, maybe a high B.

if, if, if, if, if.

there is no if in A levels cause what's done is done. that bothers me. not a slight bother, but a major big assed bother. people say results don't matter but that's utter crap. i'd like to believe that results don't matter to. if i do believe that, i'll probably be labelled a heretic. it's almost akin to proposing that the world is round (which it is by the way).

that's the study bit. a small part of this immense pressure that's pressing me from all different corners.

then there's the CCA bit, which is killing me cause i've worked so hard and now i'm looking at the possibility of not making the team. yes, sure others worked hard too, but it's just something i want so badly.

then there's the NAPFA test. you're probably wondering what's so important about it. well i passed it last year and now i need a silver to skip PTP. i ran my 2.4 today. by myself of course. was pissed by my timing (12.10). it's not really that good. then there's my pull-ups which i need to impove and all that.

coming to the end of this utterly incoherent post, i realise that for once i'm looking forward to the army. that's when all this pressure will end cause in the army, you don't have to think. you leave your brains at the entrance before you enter.

2009-03-30T21:06:00.001+08:00

i'm worried for once.

i'm worried i don't make the team. my roll off results weren't that good and now i face an uphill task. i need to bowl very very well for the next two rolloffs to qualify for the team.

trust and faith now.

2009-03-29T20:07:00.000+08:00

I swapped my innocence for pride
Crushed the end within my stride
Said I'm strong now I know that I'm a leaver
I love the sound of you walking away, you walking away
Mascara bleeds a blackened tear, oh
And I am cold, yes, I'm cold
But not as cold as you are
I love the sound of you walking away, you walking away
I love the sound of you walking away, walking away

noidon'tireallydon't

2009-03-29T14:18:00.002+08:00

hmm jts yesterday wasn't as fun as i thought. i'll be frank about that. it wasn't fun at all. i only enjoyed myself bonding with my class, not the junior class, because honestly, the two classes are so different. we cannot bond and we cannot talk, save for a few people. the less said the better.

well drumming today was good i guess. yeah i made more mistakes than i normally do but it was the first time in a long while that i worshiped on stage. i felt liberated in worship and perhaps that's why i made mistakes. i wasn't afraid to go all out and just whack the drums. so yeah it was a little loud today and people could probably tell i made mistakes, but so what. we worshiped, people jumped, people sang their hearts out and hearts were poured out to God. that's all that matters. not whether i played well or whether i made mistakes, but that people worshiped and we led them to worship.

so yes, i felt good about today's worship. been a long time since we've seen jumping in the YF and perhaps this is a sign of things to come. perhaps what the worship ministry has been hoping for is here, where people are unafraid to sing loudly and just jump and worship God for who He is. this is worship, and hopefully it continues this way and God will just look down from above and just smile and revel in our imperfect worship.

2009-03-27T22:15:00.001+08:00

i'm tired but happy (:

2009-03-25T19:23:00.002+08:00

roll off today was a disappointment for me.

i don't like how i get affected so easily by my emotions when i'm bowling. for one, i spoil the mood around me. second, i'm being an utter ass when i bowl badly. at least that's how i feel. i don't know how others perceive me when i bowl badly but i just think i'm not treating the team the way i should treat the team.

i mean, it's hard to put emotions aside. i want to bowl well because i want to make the team. fair enough. but i have to learn to put this aside and just bowl, and if the team would have a better shot at performing without me in it, then i should allow myself not to be in the team for the team to perform better. still it's hard to put interests aside.

and when i get frustrated every shot just seems to go wrong.

i need to learn to bowl like i bowl in training and enjoy my bowling and not get affected by scores.

2009-03-24T19:30:00.002+08:00

well my last paper was today. not too bad i guess. good way to end 3 weeks of hell.

i wonder how people always come out from the exam hall and say "die already! sure fail" and then when the results come back they get a damn A. and normally the people who say this always get A, with the exception of some.

of course there're some who always say the paper is easy. like i know someone who, after every single paper, says (i quote him exactly): "damn f***ing easy man". basically he usually screws up every paper.

seriously, how can practically the whole cohort say "sure fail" when we have a whole lot of As and Bs and people like me are struggling to pass at times. i don't know but it irks me how people try to show that they suck at studies when they obviously pwn the paper. if you studied just say you studied. if you think the paper is damn easy then just say the paper is damn easy.

take this block test for instance, with myself as an example. i said "sure die" for 2 papers. math, GP (compre only). and definitely i know it is a sure die. cause for math i know i lost more than 30-40 marks. for GP compre i only knew 3/5 vocabs (which is abnormal, i usually know all of them; and considering the fact that anything below a C for GP is bad for me, yeah i sure die).

but never for any paper did i say "sure fail".

a student like me, one who hasn't gotten an A in JC, one who struggles to pass certain subjects, one who got into H3 just cause the whole history cohort didn't get an A.

and i'm comparing with other people, people for whom A is a norm, people who got As for even the promo paper last year (which was a total disaster for me). these people "sure fail", "sure die".

then like that how? if they sure fail, then where do i stand?

if A is "sure fail", then my results are downright crap.

happy?

2009-03-22T16:48:00.003+08:00

Current Mood: braindead (if that's even considered a mood)

Current Music: "You're History for History" by Your Math is Gonna Fail and So is Your Chemistry

i was thinking since blogger doesnt have the mood and music thing like lj, i'll put it in by myself (: by the way there is no such song in case anyone wonders where to download, i mean buy the track to reflect your pathetic state of not knowing much and have three content heavy papers in two days.

NE WAY

the 90th Anniversary gala dinner (no, not for my grandmother, for my school) was kinda.... hmm. interesting. interesting if you feel that Christmas and getai lights in the middle of March is interesting. interesting if we didn't need the time spent to study for blocks. interesting if you find that a gala dinner in the school field with no air-con is interesting.

yeah. it was hell interesting man. i loved it. enjoyed every single second. so much so i left halfway but who cares?

we could tell who was J2 there though. basically all the people who were mugging before the dinner started and in between courses were J2s. and trust me, it is not fun to mug when you have the Chinese Orchestra blasting music, the concert band's timing going horribly wrong (get a metronome, seriously), and random performances here and there.

actually, i correct myself.

it is not fun to mug.

and just when i thought the day couldn't get any better, i came home, turned on the computer and Man Utd was trailing 1 - 0, and when Andy Johnson scored the second i swear i could have just been that tempted to switch allegiance and support a team whose form beats Man Utd. Wycombe. but no, i am loyal and i will support my club even if it falls to the Blue Square Premier South. i will support them but will not wear the jersey. that's all.

anyway. currently i have SBQ, end of CW (if legacies come out then i have 3 hours to write 3 essays!), decol and democracy to mug for history, as well as copious amounts of math and chem practice questions. seriously, how screwed am i?

Current Music: "You're History for History" by Your Math is Gonna Fail and So is Your Chemistry

that's how screwed.

2009-03-19T20:18:00.004+08:00

ah well. went to school today for "math lessons". in the end i was the only one who turned up (i'm like so good can?) so all i did was have consultations.

anyway, failblog.org never fails to make me laugh. in fact i was laughing so hard my sister thought i was crazy. which she usually does anyway.

2009-03-18T19:48:00.001+08:00

this blogger can now do 7 pull ups.

this blogger is damn happy now.

2009-03-15T17:50:00.002+08:00

kena mocked like siao for a bad performance by my team.

not my fault what? you know whose fault?

Man Utd - for squandering chances

Vidic - defensive errors

Ferguson - bad tactical decisions esp at the triple sub

the damn ref - for being so bias

Tevez - for squandering two easy chances

Gerrard - for diving to get Vidic off

Van der Sar - for not being his normal self

Ronaldo - for taking free kicks when even Jonny Evans can obviously take a better free kick than him, for being utterly anonymous in the game other than at free kicks

Evra - for making a stupid tackle and conceding a penalty

Torres - for? i don't know. for being so damn good i guess.

that's why man utd lost. not my fault man. don't keep taunting me about it.

2009-03-14T22:27:00.000+08:00

screw the shit ref. biased from start to finish. i will find out his email, and spam him.

2009-03-11T20:08:00.000+08:00

what can i say.

GP paper was winner.

econs tomorrow. not 100% ready but i think i'm more ready than i was for promos last year.

2009-03-10T20:28:00.002+08:00

got second in class for chem test despite the 0/10 i got. see the first in class was 1/10 so yeah i'm effectively joint second along with many others.

blocks start tomorrow and i am not ready. God save me

2009-03-09T19:57:00.001+08:00

love this

2009-03-08T19:22:00.002+08:00

hmm shouldn't be so affected by my studies.

i'm stressed and i won't deny it. i'm trying to do well and get into my school team as well. guess the main problem for me is getting into the team? portfolio is important so yeah it's not just results for me.

anyhow, blocks are approaching. GP paper on Wednesday and Econs on Thursday for me. hopefully i'll manage. can't afford to screw up or i won't be allowed to represent the school.

to you: i'm sorry. shouldn't have done and said certain things and i know this year will be hard for me but i really do want to talk and i'll try my best.

hmm i'm mentally drained and still have to do work. i really need prayer support now.

2009-03-06T21:45:00.002+08:00

somehow i have the feeling nobody turns up here anyway cause the blog was dead for awhile. but frankly i couldn't care less.

the week's over now and basically next week is the block test week. honestly i'm not ready and surprisingly i don't care. i'm just jaded.

school's been shit. copious amounts of tests and homework. training at mars on wednesday and friday and at venus on saturday. teachers who couldn't be bothered about our grades and who are generally incompetent. writer's block when doing GP essays. total spammage of info for history. in fact i retract my statement about school being shit. shit is an understatement.

this is J2 now. i have no direction in my life, i have lost steam at the wrong time.

and you.

i don't know what to say and what to do. i don't like the way i feel now but it's hard for me.

doesn't matter. incessant rambling.

2009-03-03T20:42:00.002+08:00

have not been blogging cause of renovations in my house. so they kinda covered the coms and so i havent been able to it much.

well unfortunately i have nothing much to talk about. not because my life in unexciting but because i just forgot about what i wanted to say.

hmm school has been good to me. that is if you consider a copious 5 tests in 2 weeks good. somehow i feel that i haven't been productive in my studies. i mean i study but somehow i just can't absorb. and its not helping that certain teachers from certain subjects (yes plural) are screwing up our grades by being such retarded asses. shall not elaborate till i get my testimonial lest they decide to write bad stuff. and trust me they are capable of that.

anyhow, i realised that the CIP i was involved in (Under Pressure) has just given me nearly 60 hours of CIP. that for playing the drums (which i love) and having fun jamming. i mean, it's almost like being paid to do something you love, which is ultimately what i aim to do in life anyway. have fun and earn money for it. yes yes, a utopia you say but you can't stop anyone from dreaming. and with the right amount of willpower i could actually make it come true.

hmm i recently decided to find an econs tutor. frankly i need one because my econs sucks and well, the other reason my class should know. kinda late to find a tutor considering that my block test is in a week's time but hopefully i'll find one before the blocks in an attempt to revive my grades.

well i realised that i should have actually taken lit instead of chem. i mean, lit is open book and i know i can at least do it as well if not better than chem. ah well. a little too late to change my mind but at least i can find solace in the fact that i have such a wonderful class. nonetheless lit would have probably landed me in A13 together with Jiasheng!!! JIASHENG FAN CLUB FTW!!

ok nevermind this post has been incoherent, irrelavant, unimportant and a load of unorganised crap.

i'm glad to have wasted 10 minutes of your time, assuming people still come here.

2009-02-12T23:19:00.002+08:00

you know how you look at someone else and you see in the person something that you lack. be it a trait or what not. and then you just start to stab yourself and question youself about why you're not like him or her in that area and start to think why you are so lacking.

my flaws are apparent. they are appalling.

inevitably, you start to hate yourself for it. you want to change but it has become so much a part of you that its hard to change.

screw it

2009-02-12T23:05:00.001+08:00

i guess under pressure went well today?

not sure but i was damn nervous so i was all tensed up and everything so apparently i looked sian according to eldwin

but i was not. seriously. i enjoyed playing and i always do.

i just get nervous damn easily.

2009-02-11T20:54:00.001+08:00

crap la. the lanes today were oilier than the whole of Saudi Arabia. couldn't hook my bowling ball.

2009-02-08T19:50:00.000+08:00

shit la my H3 topic is screwed. thought of it so much and now that i'm halfway through the proposal, i realise that it's too normal. nothing special about it.

damn

2009-02-08T19:35:00.000+08:00

training cancelled for the whole week!

crap i need practice. who wants to bowl with me please call me! i really need to bowl but its damn sian to bowl alone.

2009-02-04T21:35:00.001+08:00

currently having renovations in my house so wont get to use the computer much now.

so i'm using what precious seconds i have on the computer to tell you i won't have any more such precious seconds for the next week or two.

ciao

2009-02-02T20:46:00.002+08:00

it's the fourth week since school reopened already and i've not gotten into the studying mood yet. gotta start soon though cause A levels are coming.

well the J1s have started flooding our campus already. preferred it when it was quieter and less crowded, but i guess that was how our seniors also felt. doesn't matter, cause we're only gonna be around them for a few more months.

hmm and time does fly. too fast for me i guess. the years just go by like that and now i'm less than a year away from army, and a few months away from a major exam. i almost feel old, even though i know i'm not. and though the curse, or blessing of age has yet to catch up with me, i know that i'm not who i used to be, and i lament the fact.

we're bounded by time so that we can learn from the past. but sometimes i just wish i could change certain things that have happened. perhaps i think that it would make my life now a little better, or make me a little happier. but the fact is that i can't change the past.

i really wish i can, but i can't

2009-02-01T21:41:00.003+08:00

hmm somehow today's worship was good.

somehow.

the past two weeks have been crap. now that i look back at the past two weeks, i don't even know that that was me. i was living a life that i shouldn't have been living, so much so that for the past week or two i couldn't worship. i just kinda stood there and waited for worship to end. and i mean i was tired of all that.

was expecting the same today but i just thank God for allowing me to worship as i have been worshiping. to love Him the way i used to love. for knowing that He will carry me through everything that is to come.