don't know why but somehow i seem too affected by the upcoming promos. there's just this sense of imminent doom. i mean, have you ever had the feeling that no matter how much you study, you're just not ready?
now let's put things into perspective
i have not studied much to reach that level yet. promos are in 3 weeks. so basically i have 3 weeks (maybe less than that) to remember every lecture i have slept through, do every tutorial i have not done, and review every test i have not reviewed. and to add the icing on the cake, i have SPA on the wednesday that i return to school, and i somehow have this habit of getting a 4-5 out of 8 for SPA, which, mind you, is part of the A levels.
if i were to devise a rating system to rate the level of screwedness, say upon 243, i probably would get a 250. and this is obviously a telling sign of how well, or should i say how badly i think i'm going to do.
yet i've fooled myself, no, deluded myself into thinking that perhaps 3 weeks is ample time to review one whole year of work. and perhaps that by suspending my bowling training, i would be able to use my saturdays more effectively so that my plan of getting at least a B for everything would come to frutition.
delusions, Bryan, delusions.
perhaps even, i may be getting a little delirious. can't really focus on the things that i have to do. a full 1 hour of studying seems to me like a night in the bowels of hell. and to think i actually thought a timetable would work. and then the phrase comes to mind, "rules are meant to be broken". yeah, yeah, the timetable isn't really a rule, it's a guideline. but then again, guidelines, rules, what's the difference? school gives us guidelines, but basically, don't follow the "guideline" and you're screwed. so guidelines are in fact no different from rules.
but i digress. perhaps i should devise better ways to make full use of my time. like hammering my computer, burning my bed or even drowning my handphone in water. maybe if i actually do this, i may be able to focus.
i don't really view this as a depressive post. it's more of an apt reminder for myself every so often that i have more stuff to do and these are really pertinent and have to be carried out to the best of my abilities. so well.
oh crap it really is depressing.
uhh. forget it.
posted @ 3:55 PM |