came across this perfect article in GP and i thoroughly enjoyed it. satire at it's best. i almost enjoyed it as much as i enjoyed 1984
People against smoking have proposed that Singapore takes gradual but concrete steps to effectively ban cigarettes over the next few years. It will be a difficult task, given the substantial number of smokers in Singapore and the certain and vociferous outcry that will be raised against any plan to ban smoking. Human rights advocates too will no doubt claim that addiction cannot be controlled by law. I suggest a strategy to adopt that may smooth the way towards the eventual imposing of a total ban, and a return to a more disciplined and moral society.
I acknowledge the strong link between smoking and narcotic usage as argued by Mr Nathan. To fix the cigarette problem, the government should indeed take its inspiration from its tried-and-tested draconian anti-drugs strategy. In fact, there should be active steps taken to criminalise cigarette-addicts, in much the same way that drug-users are regularly demonised. Nicotine addicts should be depicted as misguided, delinquent parasites of society, literally burning away millions of dollars each year and recklessly ruining both their own and others' health; they should be portrayed as desperadoes who would stop at nothing, including crimes, to satisfy their unwholesome, illicit craving. There should be no designated places for smoking in public whatsoever. Common sense may dictate that a bit of smoke now and again, just when you are in a bar, is not going to kill you. As any right thinking person would agree, this is not a time for common sense, but for quick response to extinguish this disgusting and socially deleterious habit.
On the legislative side, the sale of cigarettes, and the possession of cigarettes beyond a minimal amount, should be treated as a capital offence. Anyone caught with more than two sticks at a time should be tried like a despicable criminal. Cigarette-sellers should be shamed, tortured and hanged just as drug-traffickers are. Their families should be exposed in the media. No mercy should be granted to those who would dare violate our pristine shores with such foul and corrosive agents. After all, smokers are among the minority - they should abide by the laws of the majority. Besides, our city state cannot afford to accommodate all kinds of minorities.
I realise that these steps may seem extreme to those who believe in permissive and liberal values, but extreme measures are necessary to deal with social evils. After the initial hue-and-cry, properly socialised Singaporeans will be shocked by any alternative approach to the problem. Only with excessive measures will we be well rid of this insidious social menace, and be rewarded with cleaner air and a healthier, more productive population. After all, mandatory health consciousness is more important than pleasure and individual freedom of choice.
We can then credit ourselves with another world-first and another public-campaign success. To make up for the inevitable shortfall in revenue, the government can easily raise taxes in some other area (such as the recently proposed casino for tourists), or fine married couples who do not produce sufficient offspring to meet state needs. After dealing with more cigarette offenders, we can ready ourselves to eliminate any other social vice and moral failing, such as prostitution, political opposition, materialism, just plain selfishness and even the consumption of beer in public. There is no doubt that Singapore is a fun place to live in, but we must also make it free of stimulants. The Disneyfication of Singapore will then be well under way.
The task ahead will not be easy, but if any country can pull this off, it will be Singapore, city state of majority rule
Carter Hung
posted @ 9:27 PM |