just came back from the retreat. it was good. the planning was good, everything was good. but the real good thing was that i was with God. really with God
sometimes we stray. we deviate from what God wants us to be. i can honestly tell you that before the retreat, i was not close to God. i can't say i am extremely close to Him now, but i feel much closer to Him now.
God spoke to me repeatedly throughout the retreat. day after day. and i just felt at peace with Him.
during the 2nd day, i made a commitment to God. God was calling me to go for missions. i was clear. in my QT, in my prayer retreat, it was evident He was calling me. and this time He affirmed me with a song. To the Ends of the Earth. it's just amazing how God can speak to you in these many different ways.
and today He spoke to me in another song. two songs actually.
people struggle.
worship is a very dangerous ministry. we play the instruments for God, not for our glory. but yet, sometimes when we play, may it be a guitarist who had just played a nice guitar solo, or a bassist who is comparable to Flea, or a drummer who can hit 2 bass peddles in 1 note. what do we think? ego is a big issue. we don't want to play for our own glory but sometimes no matter how we try, we still do. the main thing about this retreat that spoke to me was the heart of ministry.
many times, we serve but with the wrong motive. in this case i serve in the area of worship. i guess all musicians face what i face. the Heart of Worship and the heart of ministry and service is very important. and once again, God spoke to me during the retreat.
you know today, at the retreat. the last worship session. at church. it was led by Weihan. and two songs really, really spoke to me. they were Give Us Clean Hands and Heart of Worship.
when they were singing the songs, i guess God just spoke to me. Give Us Clean Hands came 1st. and i guess He really told me of my sins; all of my sins. and i didn't sing. i just prayed. i prayed for His forgiveness, i prayed that He will give me clean hands to worship Him, and a pure heart not just in camps and on Sundays, but in my everyday life.
the Heart of Worship. i don't know. we sing this song again and again, but we don't really take notice of the meaning of all the words. but God used this song to speak to me. the last time i sang this song, God didn't use it to speak to me. this time though He did. guess it must have been the message and all, but the song spoke to me. deeply spoke to me. i just wanted to fall on my knees and pray. but i didn't. i just wanted to cry. but i cried in my heart. i do have a hard time showing my feelings but then again it doesnt matter, cause God sees my heart. and i know He will forgive me.
yeah this retreat was good. a spiritual awakening in a sense. now i need rest for physical awakening.
ciao
posted @ 2:53 PM |